self-destruct in 5,4,3,2...

1!! its now the official start of hols.im missin him real bad ald,2day go out wit priya they all also no mood ald.although we'll still b in same class nex yr,i still nv wants to lose sight of you.i hope by goin 2 cambodia,it will me distract my self. its rainin heavily now,my moods lik shit ,lik a stupid lovesick or isit lovedrunk girl.alamak...all i c is...BLANK,no colurs at all.rahayu they all were lik tellin me say y my face no expression one,wat kinda expression shld i hav?im not happy.nonono im being stupid!! okok i m goin 2 look at the bright side!!but theres no brightness??haha,ok not funny.


I gotta take a little time
A little time to think things over
I better read between the lines
In case I need it when I'm older

In my life there's been heartache and pain
I don't know if I can face it again
Can't stop now, I've traveled so far
To change this lonely life

I wanna know what love is
I want you to show me
I wanna feel what love is
I know you can show me

I'm gonna take a little time
A little time to look around me
I've got nowhere left to hide
It looks like love has finally found me

In my life there's been heartache and pain
I don't know if I can face it again
I can't stop now, I've traveled so far
To change this lonely life

I wanna know what love is
I want you to show me
I wanna feel what love is
I know you can show me

I wanna know what love is
I want you to show me
And I wanna feel, I want to feel what love is
And I know, I know you can show me

Let's talk about love
I wanna know what love is, the love that you feel inside
I want you to show me, and I'm feeling so much love
I wanna feel what love is, no, you just cannot hide
I know you can show me, yeah

tired ald...

I am thinking of you
In my sleepless solitude tonight
If it's wrong to love you
Then my heart just won't let me be right
'Cause I've drowned in you
And I won't pull through
Without you by my side


I'd give my all to have
Just one more night with you
I'd risk my life to feel
Your body next to mine
'Cause I can't go on
Living in the memory of our song
I'd give my all for your love tonight

Baby can you feel me
Imagining I'm looking in your eyes
I can see you clearly
Vividly emblazoned in my mind
And yet you're so far
Like a distant star
I'm wishing on tonight



i broke up wit him last week.he claims he loves me,haha is tat so?all talk n no action ,anyway im i duno?sorta glad but sad. im givin it up 4 guys ald.they suck,and friends snatchin yur guy?haha heard of it?im tired of all tis ald,i jus wanna do nth now n treasure my time wit my close frens,they undstnd me best.i love them:)may god bless me

F u man

u r fucked up man.im a wat?dog?irritatin?u ask me 2 go 2 hell ,bang my head,jump down.FUCK u man,u n yur fucked up attitude bout yurself.-GUY H

u!!o man i hate u 2,u blow hot n cold.u dun bother bout me n leave me hangin by d thread.i swear im nt botherin bout u ald.u cn b sweet ,ahh chocolates evrydae,bt u r oso obnoxiously rude.u haven called me eva since we argued on thurs .wat m i 2u?a toy?fucku-guy S

im in a veri bad mood 2 dae,jz nw aft i tlk 2 hakim.im smilin:)haha his blog so cute,so..ronaldo,haha.teng u r rite...smth big is gonna happen soon.it all depends on whether i cn get over my own thghts ,if i cnt...GOODBYE.
hakim is so CUTE lah,hahahahahahaha

n o yes,its chrysentheNUM rite!!!i dun care.:)

happy hari raya!!

yay!!happy hari raya 2 all malay frens!!:D especially kaya!!happy eatin haha.i gt bf lik dun hav bf laidat.i hav tried my best ald n been veri giving,u dun want 2 tell me anything,fine.u r always busy,fine,i undstd.wen i told u tat we were 2 b better off on our own,u said,nono,thers no prob anymore,evrythin settled .ok fine,u promised me aft 09/09/09 tat u will b by my side always,u didnt,nvm.fri u said u would wait 4 me,whr were u?if i didnt call u n found out tat u were at home...haha who noes.anyway...i think..i shall leave now

at least i noe that there r ppl who r concern bout me wen im sick,upset,happy.wat did u tell me,"drink more water".tats all ok. no fone call nth.but nvm i undstd,,u're busy ,i shall juz wtch n c den...

haha ,i thght i would nv fall 4 u...

omg.haven't written 4 a long time,bt im alive. :) life is gd?actually ok lah.nt really.

js wanna sae baby,im always there.though i admit.i dont love you,but im tryin hard nt 2.u promised me u'll nv mk me cry,bt u r makin me doin it,im worried 4 u honey.bt i undst ,i will give u d time n space u nd.im sry 4 nt trustin u.

I never felt nothing in the world like this before
Now I'm missing you
& I'm wishing that you would come back through my door
Why did you have to go? You could have let me know
So now I'm all alone,
Boy you could have stayed
but you wouldnt give me a chance
With you not around it's a little bit more then i can stand
And all my tears they keep running down my face
Why did you turn away?

So why does your pride make you run and hide?
Are you that afraid of me?
But I know it's a lie what you keep inside
This is not how you wanted to be


But...im afraid tat once u hav settled evrythin,yur feelins will fade..haha den i guess i'll hav 2 tk a risk,coz baby i think i fell 4 u.u noe aft those constant contacts,n suddenly no more,its gonna kill me,bt i'll survive.remember wat u promised me honey?tk care n best luck 4 all yur probs n exams,darlin.

hello!!

o god,finally i cn use com liao.juz bck frm NDP,veri tired.anyway nex wk i think we go marina bay.yay!!!finally.sian,i o9,so suay,nobody o9.we r goin 2 hav camp on tue wed n fri,yay again!!cnt wait,so fun coz we plannin,haha.gotta go bck sch on mon 4 amaths exam,hais..den tue we meetin at sch again wit ms lee n go NTUC shop 4 things we nd,aiyo,body ache lah.veri tired,bt the atmosphere aft the marching is GREAT!!!

i love the song "21 guns" n "battlefield".so nice!!!love it .i dunno y leh.

9.40

i feel so irritated man...wat the hell,no voice liao.this SUX!!cnt tlk,hav 2 write on paper,hope will b ok on mon ...i dunno y oso leh,throat hurts lik hell,bt althgh no fever liao ,gastric is fckin pain,cnt sleep at all.hell was yesterdae n 2dae,vomitted,fever stuck at 40 degree,saw doc,took a jab.veri pain leh...my mum sae i laidat oso cry,wen its lik ants bite,where gt ants bite???wa lau,anyway 2moroe NDP i nt goin coz i dun feel well still,ltr faint hw?i noe,im smart,althgh i cnt tlk i cn still type ok?

walau 2dae tk 4 paper in a row,maths (2),chem ,POA n physics,physics=fail=me DEAD. hais...den teng sen me home,aww u so sweet teng,thank u,n wen i reach my hoiuse bus stop,heavy rain,so uay gotta ask maid 2 bring umbrella,nt gd 2 gt sick again..my gastric start again,so i juz force myself 2 eat a little lor. anyway i cnt wait 4 mon ,duno we gt our results nt?

den shayne joyce rahayu n priya wen 4 bowlin,n i couldnt go coz nt feelin well,n teng ,hais she so nice i duno wat 2 sae...she had 2 wait 4 me 4 lik 3 hrs+ 2 finish my papers den sacrifice dowan go out wit joyce they all bowlin n instead kip me company n sen me home,thank u!! :)


back 2 real wrld.i cnt sae anytin so i hav 2 use tis chance,last bit of wat i hav 2 sae:
We're trying to take it slow
But we're still losin control
And we're trying to make it work
But it still ends up the worst
And I'm craaazzzy
For tryin to be your laaadddy
I think I'm goin crazy

Girl, me and you were just fine (you know)
We wine and dine
Did them things that couples do when in love (you know)
Walks on the beach and stuff (you know)
Things that lovers say and do
I love you boo, I love you too
I miss you a lot, I miss you even more
That's why I flew you out
When we was on tour
But then something got out of hand
You start yellin when I was my friends
Even though I had legitimate reasons (bull shit)
You know I have to make them dividends (bull shit)
How could you trust our private eyes girl
That's why you don't believe my lies
And quickly said shut up

hello

its anth new day,i decided tat i prefer buddhist 2 christian i dunno y,anyway teng has been comin 2 my house the past daes,cartoon lah.

we study eat ,play majhong,laugh 4 a full 30 mins n cry,coz is so bamn funny...stupid buttline haha,shh (teng,its onli btween u n me)shes teachin me physics POa n chem.hais eva since exam,i didnt really get 2 stay bck n see him,bt i will b contented n wait till exams r over,i will put all distractions aside,i muz prove tat i cn get gd results so i cn go out,hais...grandma ,wish me gd luck...

wah hell man,i think i sprain?twist? my ankle,veri pain ,lik pigs ankle,i fell down the stairs at sch,dumb rite?aiyo..evrytime sae ppl pigs leg,nw my turn liao,summore juz nw i go bathe,almost slip n fall,hold on 2 the cup handle there,den the cup fell,toothpaste drop on my legmfuck BIG tube leh,veri pain ,summore same leg,suay.hais..im meetin teng at bout 12 at sch on mon bah..duno priya they all c hw 1st.

hello,juz wanted 2 sae im feelin slightly better ,last mon was a fckin ROTTEN monday,my grandma passed away last fri,while i was still oblivious about anything.my fcking father,(no,hes nt fit 2 b clled tat),anyway,he didnt want 2 notify us.fck.

i promised u grandma,i promised i would cum n visit u,y didnt u wait 4 me,i didnt even cc u 4 last time,grandma....luckily a fren of my fck dad came at bout 1am on sat n told us,my mum told only told us on sun morn ,i rushed down n gt there only at bout 12 pm,n den i juz lk there n cried lik hell,she was cremated ald,fck fck,i juz cursed out.how could u,i was comin ald,wait 4 me...den i juz std there wit my grandpa n an auntie n juz cried till my eyes hurt n i ...i couldnt eat anythin,it was all my fault ,if only i had quickly visited her lik i promised,she would hav been gone wit no regrets...im so unfilial..my grandpa told me,she would cry evrydae at nite 4 me,she loved me the mose,hw could she go juz laidat?

if tat bastard dad of mine had clled us 2 visit her wen she was ald in ICU 2 days b4 she died,i would hav at least gotten 2 c her.fck u,i nv want 2 c u again.wen i was at the funeral,he clled me,"jane",i didnt care ,i juz lk across n folded my arms,,i hope my grandma haunts him.i ...i juz want her 2 cum n visit me 4 a last time,i thght she would reapear again,she didnt,nvm...i will b joinin u soon,im comin.once im done wit things here.

വെല്‍ക്കം ടോ ദ ലാസ്റ്റ് ഡേ ഓഫ് മൈ wrld

as i said welcome 2 the last dae of my world.i juz finish tlkin 2 aaron n i hav solved his prob liao,yay!!!!dun blame me 4 advisin a cruel thing,bt it was fate.

anyway my mum is cumin bck 2dae at midnite,sian...clled aman at 1 am last nite,nv pick up,hell,he sae he will pick up lor.hais...teng n i joinin the NDP thing,n we're plannin the camp,yay!!!FUN camp!!!wit me,they will all survive.

O man,i gtg!!bb!!!

yay

2moroe,im gonna cum late coz its so borin wit chan minh they all in their own E1 wrld,wateva im happy where i m now.i think.

tell u a gd news ok??my mum is goin 2 Maccau 2moroe,yay!!!!!i m veri happy,finally free 4 ablout 4 days.hais... =)

sian gt tuition at 4 2moroe,nvm,tue aiya gt peer tutourin,wed gt parade,tsk wasted nvm lah still cn go out.o ya ltr muz rmb cll aman oso.

o lord haresh!!wat the fck hav u been up 2?i miss u so much,as a frewn.im gona go crazy soon,i dun care if u lik tila a nt?u cn do wateva u want bt juz dun ignore me,o god now i sound DESPO,bt im nt.u were my best frewn eva ,how??u suck big-time.i thght we were best frewns....y cnt things b the same as last time?u tell me,im waitinn,no ans rite,

WTF

wat the hell lah i cnt c keyboard clearly.i noe its Earth hr,bt aiyo i only gt 10 mins left,my bro n sis mk me off light sae i cnt on,wen i grow old i cnt c i wil kill dem.

do i speak veri offensively??i duno ,nt my mum saes i do.hais...anyway,boy i really missed u durin the hols.no matter wat probs u hav i'll always b willin 2 hlp.im always there,whether u lik it or nt.

daddy where r u?u MIA 5 mths liao,pls juz give at least a phone cll.

7.38

we call ppl who start rumours SLEAZEMONGERS.i found it in a bk,n its a gd wrd coz rumours cn b HURTFUL,so its SLEAZY 2 start one,gt it?

im so bored....how bout u?

8.oo

Haresh S pillai,u SUCK.wat kinda of jerk r u?go eat shit.4 past 1 whole wk u fckin did nt pick up yur fckin phone.full of xcuses,u noe it.n cn u juz stop yur fckin flirtin ways.

Aman!!i noe u scared of beichuns POWER!!dun worry pretty gals frm sengkang will protect u!!haha

finally,I M SO OVER!!at last i hav been able 2 cut away my old nail n allow myself 2 c the new nail growin,thgh it may nt b as long n nice as the old one,im sure it will,wit mor care ...undst wat im saein?of u do,u r as smart as me rite?


anyway,juz lked at ppls blog n i saw marcus de,wow,didnt noe he was so sweet.n oso u noe suddenly,i realise tat 3e3 is sorta united ald,o so sweet...O yes,henry,seriously,tk care,i rather let u cll me pig trotters 24/7 rather den c u go.evryone will miss u,n dun sare por priya laidat cn?yesterdae,was havin GB den saw santhireen(aiya duno how to spell),he was wearin sunglasses while teachin drill,eat shit lah ,so lame.

n omigod i love tat song,"BROKEN STRINGS",so fab!!!hais,im goin 2 eat ice cream now!!!bye bye darlings!!!

8.26 someday u'll cum bck,coz i aint lik tat

omg,last nite i dreamt tat i killed my mom,wat the hell?im goin 2 bcum phsyco(correct?).anyway,ive realised im bcomin mor vulgar n ahlian,m i?i seriously think so.O god,how 2 change,its gonna b a part of me.finally now i undst wat they mean.n my mom said my character is gullible n i tlk 2 much bout my stuff,n if some1 wanted me 2 fall in their trap ,i will.wa lau sae me until lik tat.gt tat bad meh?2dae is v-day,my mum is out on a date,she onli said shes goin on a movie ,no nd guess i noe who liao.wateva.stupid JK,ask me sat free nt?1 bring me 2 pig's farm,grrgh!!!go eat shit lah.irritatin,didnt noe he had tis hidden sense of humour,guess i found out 2 late.

4 the past wk,i really needed 2 tlk 2 someone about some stuff,b4 i burst apart,i almos gave way tat dae wen teng asked me if i was stressed n blah blah,ieven complated goin 2 councellin bt,decided ,4 wat?i oso wnt trust the teacher n spill my guts out.close frewns?wat a handful i hav left.n so i told the wall my troubles in the morning tat dae,tats the reason i came early,i wanted 2 cll JK,bt den i recalled priyah's wrds,"he aint botherin bout u jane,hes moved on",yeah,so wat could i do?nth.

n u noe,you're mistaken i aint wat u said,wen i mean i lik a guy,it means lik as in the way i lik wu zun,their lks,nt love them as in real love.FOOLS,all FOOLS.u dun even noe me well.

sian i m so freakin bored,sec 3 camp comin liao,im happy?maybe,coz den there are'nt tests eveydae,sorta glad yeah.n WTF,ms lee wnts us 2 wear full-U EVRY wk,only once a mth den we cn wear polo-T,wa lau.damn hot lah.n i juz tk my stage 3,i pass stage 1 n 2 liao,now left 3,confirm fail lor.eat shit lah.

3.43

im at my mums frewns place,wtchin dem play majhong,hand oso veri itchy.im gonna b 15 soon!!!omg,im lik damn old.sian,aft tat we r goin 2 bugis,go n find a new 4 myself den go 2 chong boon n find a new majhong table.

frm 10 ppl to 4 ppl,hais.those who r trusted r few,2 think i thght there was many,how naive i was.anyway,omg lah,i gt 25/58 4 my POA ,i seriously suck.my mum said they r plannin 2 go bangkok tis june hols,n if my results suck,i cn sae bye.

the fri news,i said OCTUPLETS,ny octopus lah Des,omg,how could u hav heard wrongly,i sae gt tat bad?n use IQ lah,HOW cn a woman give birth 2 octopus??damn joker lah.ooh n i fell in love wit a new song,"na nu hai dui wo shuo". suddenly i love tat song,finally,i cn feel yur absence,bt i noe its 2 latedun worry,i will try 2 4gt u,i shall give myself 1 mth aft my burfdae,lets c...8 march.i CN do it pppl.im sure u guys will hlp me,yeah?

rahayu,wat happened? i dunno,bt i noe i didnt deserve tat slap frm u,it didnt hurt physically,bt mentally,i seriously hav no head or tail?were u tryin 2 hlp joyce?i dun think so.

o yeah 4gt 2 write,is gonna b CNY liao lor,i juz fell suay lor,gt 1 big gigantic blu black lor,so irriatin.lik OMG lah wa lau.

hais,wat an excitin wk ,wen mages asked me,i was lik deja vu kena shocked again.i noe itll b the same case as jk de lor.wateva....he juz clled me,hais....i hope he nv finds tis blog,hlp ppl!!

im sorie i disturb u

im sorie i disturbed evryone,thx 2 damien,i noe where i stand.thank u,i dun mean it sacarstic.i noe ppl lik teng teng priya n the rest r nice,actually i noe most of u r tryin 2 b nice,it doesnt hlp im lik tat.wen i came home frm fri aft beind escorted by darien n zhi xian,i juz literaly went to the toilet,showered n cried till i was numb,now i noe wat they mean wen they sae no air,i was graspin 4 air.i really dunno wat i did wrong,wat??i really duno.

n fri was lik the worst dae,i broke my back n my watch,gt snubbed,n juz so u noe,my father juz played tat dissapearin trick on us,ha ha ha,i gt nth 2 sae

irritatin is my mum,she said "stadard ah ppl,gt sch 9.00 brush teeth,nex dae no sch,10.00." wa lau i 1 2 wtch little nonya de leh...no use protestin lor,lik im a 5 yr old.n 2dae is the 1 jan ,a new yr,spoil my mood.

wateva lah,im meetin nitya 7.00at the bus stop ,hais...goin 2 coffeeshop now to eat.